Outta your mind!

Last week was crazy. Though I was fairly productive, I wasn’t exactly motivated to do much of what needed to be done, but instead did lots of whatever the hell I felt like doing. Part of that included spending time with my little foul-mouthed cherubs. My little disrespectful gifts from God.

The Gorilla is the bad influence oldest.  He’s a little over 2.5 years old, however he is under the assumption that kid years are a bit like dog years and 2.5 years in kid years is more like 14 years old. Currently, his favorite phrase is “outta your mind.”

Me:  Gorilla, you need to share that toy with your sister.
Gorilla:  OUTTA YOUR MIND MAMA!

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Me:  Time for a bath Gorilla. Get in the tub.
Gorilla:  OUTTA YOUR MIND MAMA!

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Me:  Gorilla, do you know any other phrases?
Gorilla: Yes.
Me:  Use them.
Gorilla:  OUTTA YOUR MIND MAMA!

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I have no clue where he may have potentially heard this phrase before…no idea…nope, can’t think of…oh, riiiiiiigggghhhhttt….I constantly tell everyone in this family they are out of their minds when they make ridiculous requests (i.e. make dinner). Note to self:  He’s listening.

So beyond the fact that he’s already speaking to me like he’s some angst-ridden teen who already knows everything, he’s taken to being quite sneaky.  The phrase he typically uses for that is, “Checkin’ somethin’ mama,” and then it’s quiet as he runs off to some obscure part of the house to cause obscene amounts of destruction.  However, last week, he tricked me. He said, “Wash hands mama” after he peed.

There I was, getting Binxy dressed after her bath, which is a feat in itself, and the Gorilla announces that he has to pee. No prob, he uses the bathroom by himself, so I send him on his way. He knows the routine and I listen and hear the flush of the comode and then him dragging his little stool to the sink to wash his hands…

Me:  You ok Gorilla?
Gorilla:  Yes mama. Wash hands mama.

Silence.

I was preoccupied with dressing Binxy. She kept attempting to escape from my grasp and travel around the house in her birthday suit. (She’s a free spirit.) So as I was involved in a wrestling tournament with my nearly 1 year old, I missed the silence. When I finally realized that something was not quite right….

Me: Gorilla! What are you doing?
Gorilla:  Bubbles mama!

And there were bubbles. Lots of bubbles. He used the hand soap and water to fill the sink with bubbles and then proceeded to throw handfuls of bubbles all over the bathroom. While he was naked. (He’s also a free spirit.)

The work of the devil. I mean the Gorilla.

***Side note:  Yes, I know the stool is pink. When purchased, I already had a green/blue one for the bathroom downstairs. I chose pink for the bathroom upstairs for my Binxy even though it’ll be awhile before she’s potty trained. The Gorilla doesn’t care what color the stools are regardless. So go ahead and continue to judge me.

Did I mention that he’s only 2? It’s going to be a long 16 years. 😉

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