A little faith and a lot of love go a long way…

I’m a winner with a death wish.

So, it turns out I apparently have a death wish. Ok, ok…not quite. However, I believe the phrase, “glutton for punishment” applies to me now. So remember how I went ahead and decided to become an Olympian runner? I ran (and I use the term “ran” loosely) a 5K back in the beginning of June. Apparently insanity confidence is a side effect of running and I decided I could totally complete a Spartan Race. In fact, when my buddy over at Pink Runner decided to offer a giveaway for a free race, I was filled with insanity excitement and was the first to comment and enter the drawing for the race on her blog. Turns out…I won!

First, I was super excited that I won. I mean, everyone wants to be a winner, right? Then, I was overwhelmed by intense fear. I’m no athlete! What was I thinking?! Finally the intensity of the fear subsided (it’s still there…just not quite as intense) and I’m kind of looking forward to it. I mean, it’s forcing me to set some goals to train for it. (Note:  By “train for it” I mean “come up with a plan to survive.”)

One thing I know for sure…I need some support! So first and foremost, I know I’ll be blogging about this adventure and hopefully you’ll be encouraging me along the way.  Secondly, I’m hoping (praying, begging…) that there are a least a couple of you out there who want to carry my body across the finish line run beside me and cross the finish line with me to show your support. Pretty please? With a cherry on top? Just think about it…you have some time…I’m thinking I’m going to do the July 12th, 2014 race in Palmerton, PA. We could even start budgeting now and make a weekend of it…celebrate our survival accomplishment! Won’t that be FUN!?!

In any case, be prepared for some updates of how this clumsy diva attempts to bring out her inner SPARTAN. ROAR!!! (Did that sound Spartan-y? Ah well…baby steps.)


“Now that you’re 30…”

I’ve been a busy bee. Since school let out I’ve been in to work multiple times to move my stuff and the stuff from the retired math coach into my new room.  Here’s what it looked like:

Look at the hot mess I made!

Look at the hot mess I made!

Are you ready to see the “after” picture of my super organized and clean room?! Don’t hold your breath dear readers ‘cuz it ain’t happenin’! HAHAHA! I’m not the organized one, Big Daddy Byron is. That’s why you see him in the above photo. We made a big dent in getting things put away and organized today however there’s still work to be done. I’ll try to remember to take an “after” photo once we’re Big Daddy Byron is finished organizing everything.

So I’ve been busy but like most teachers, I had to make time to fit in all of my yearly medical and dental appointments now while school is out. Within a week of my summer vacation I found myself at the chiropractor as well as…the GYNO! Super fun, right? Well, it turns out I hadn’t had my annual check up in awhile.  You see, I was pregnant, giving birth, and caring for newborns for three years straight. So I forgot I needed to get my hoo-hah checked. (Did she really write that? – you) (You’re welcome. – me) 18 months after my youngest baby was born I realized I should get a check up and made an appointment.

Since I lived at visited my gyno’s office for 3 years, it’s no surprise that they knew me well. I didn’t expect that they’d remember me. The office staff was new to me but as soon as the nurse came out to get me, I recognized her. She collected my pee for nearly 3 years. You don’t forget the person who you pee in a cup for approximately 30ish times. She recognized me too with a cheerful, “Hi Kari! It’s been awhile since we’ve seen you! No more kids? You were on a roll there for awhile! Hahaha!” Funny.

Next up, the weight check. That was fun. Once that lovely number showed up on the screen, I quickly reminded my nurse friend that I was pregnant for practically 3 years straight and just had a baby…(20 months ago…but who’s counting?). She smiled politely and led me to my room where…well, if you’re a lady you know what happens and if you’re not…then you don’t need to know. The best nurse practitioner in the world works at my gyno’s office and I enjoy talking with her during my appointments. This appointment was no different and she was laughing at my humorous responses and I was relaxed at hearing her tell me that peeing myself after having 2 kids is normal.

The appointment was wrapping up. Then, Patty, the nurse practitioner, blindsided me. “Kari, now that you’re 30…”

I screamed. Well, yelled. “WHAT?! Patty, you’re killing me! Now that I’m 30!?!”

She laughed. “Yes, now that you’re 30 there’s a test we need to talk about. Didn’t you know there’s a list of things we have to talk to you about once you’re 30? Wait until you’re 40 and 50! We’ve got lists of things to talk to you about then too!”

So we chatted about this test I needed to know about now that I’m 30.  Ya know, I have really enjoyed the past 6 months of being 30. Until that moment in time. Then for a split second I panicked about being 30. I mean, I had to talk to a doctor about a test to detect cancer that I should consider because of my age. Because with age comes wisdom cancer. And other medical problems. It freaked me out…for about 5 minutes. Because then I walked out to the waiting room to check out, saw 2 pregnant ladies, and thanked my lucky stars that I have now not gotten pregnant for a record 20 months since my first pregnancy! Amen!

The Gorilla's 1st birthday party...where I was already 4-5 weeks pregnant with Binxy...though I had no idea. That's right, I didn't even make it a year without getting knocked up.  Happy 1st birthday Gorilla, you're gonna be a big brother!

The Gorilla’s 1st birthday party…where I was already 4-5 weeks pregnant with Binxy…though I had no idea. That’s right, I didn’t even make it a year without getting knocked up. Happy 1st birthday Gorilla, you’re gonna be a big brother!



To Cleanse or Not to Cleanse

We survived. That’s the good news. We only made it through 1.5 days of the cleanse. Not because it was difficult. It’s not. We are just weak. In fact, I highly recommend the 3 day Dr. Oz cleanse.

I woke up on day 2 of the cleanse with a raging headache. I was determined not to take anything for it so I gulped my morning detox tea & ran out the door as I had a couple appointments. They ended up taking longer than expected & I didn’t make it home until 1 pm. My headache was intense. I was fairly certain my head was going to explode. So I chugged what was supposed to have been my breakfast drink & took a 3 hour nap with my kids. I should note though that although my head was killing me & despite my 3 hour nap I actually wasn’t feeling as exhausted as on day 1.

There was so way in hell I was going to drink that lunch smoothie again so when we woke up, Big Daddy Byron & I decided to eat some of the ingredients of the smoothie. It felt good to chew again!

By this time we were tired, hungry, & my headache was ridiculous. So of course we had a big blow out argument since we were not feeling well. That’s when we said to hell with the cleanse & we were eating dinner. I made a tasty (unhealthy) casserole & popped some Tylenol.

Day 3 (this morning) I weighed myself & lost 4.8 pounds since the morning of day 1. Besides being tired & yesterday’s killer headache, I have to admit…I felt good! It’s hard to describe but I felt…light. It’s nice to know what you’re digestive system is supposed to feel like.

Where do we go from here? Well, I swapped my normal morning coffee for another detox tea this morning. (I’m not giving it up forever but I’m trying to cut back a bit.) I’m still taking a vitamin, probiotic, & omega 3. & I actually ate more veggies today than I had combined during the week before the cleanse. Byron’s watching his portions more & ate lots of veggies today too. So though we aren’t ready to become total health nuts (which there is nothing wrong with) we are at least attempting some changes. Thanks Dr. Oz!

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Peek a Boo!

Well, the secret is pretty much not a secret anymore so I may as well officially announce it: I suck at blogging.

But I’m here now to update you on my 2013 Bucket List. (I can’t figure out how to link it using my iPad so click here to check it out: )

Obviously I have failed at #1. Ah well. There’s always 2014.

#2 – I have continued to be kind. Not always but I’m hitting the once a week mark at least. Ha.

#3 – I’m fat. Ugh. Stress eating like its my job so that has not helped with losing 10 pounds. So this weekend Big Daddy Byron & I decided to do the 3 day Dr. Oz cleanse. It’s our first cleanse & we don’t eat healthy in the first place. Awesome. (Find it here:

I decided to do the cleanse to try to help jump start a more healthy all honesty, the number one reason we eat crap right now is because we can’t afford to be healthy with having just 1 income. Secondly, I like carbs. And salt. And grease. And sugar. Big Daddy decided to do the cleanse because I’m forcing him to. Simple.

We’ve modified slightly today in that I couldn’t find coconut oil so the lunch drink was missing that. Plus I refused to put cayenne pepper in the dinner drink. Oh and we are not doing the detox bath at the end of the day. We are not bath people. Ew.

We both enjoyed the morning detox green tea. The breakfast smoothie wasn’t too bad either. We were both feeling pretty good. Then lunch came. The lunch smoothie is DISGUSTING. Probably more so for us because we aren’t veggie people to begin with. Byron took it like a champ. I help my nose as I drank, chased each gulp with water, & quit when I was half finished.

The dinner smoothie is my favorite. I had it as the snack smoothie too. Byron’s favorite is the breakfast one because he hates kale with a passion. We are drinking water as well.

How do I feel? Honestly, exhausted. I thought I was supposed to feel energetic and whole again? I even took a 3 hour nap today. The kids woke up after 2 hours and Byron had to wake me after another hour. I felt like I could have just kept sleeping. Even now I’m super tired as I type this. My body must be working overtime to rid itself of the many toxins I’ve filled it with for 30 years. I’m wondering also though if my gastric bypass is playing a part in it. Since I don’t absorb everything I eat anymore anyway plus I’m eating much less than I normally would I’m not absorbing what people with normal intestines/stomachs would. Not too mention there’s a lack of protein with the cleanse.

Also I just started having a minor headache this evening. Nothing major. My neck has started aching too though. Byron however did pop some Tylenol earlier because he had a pretty bad headache.

Byron’s been super hungry all day. I received this text from him: “I feel like I want to shank someone for a cheeseburger! I can feel the anger festering in my eyes!” I haven’t felt too bad. I do miss chewing though. And salt. And grease.

I have been peeing a LOT. And it’s clear! I know you wanted to know that. I thought I’d be stuck in the bathroom for another reason. I’ve heard that cleansing tends to lead to extended stays on the potty as you poop the pounds away. Not so today. Both B & I have not had any bowel issues in that sense. That’s a positive.

I do feel less bloated and lighter. Byron said he doesn’t feel bloated either & feels better overall. (Besides his searing hunger pains, hahahaha!) Even so we’ve both agreed that we are only doing two of the 3 day cleanse. We are quitters and we are ok with that. 🙂

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